"Some like to live for the moment, some like to just reminisce But whenever I have an evening to spend, just give me one like this" Frank Sinatra

A couple months ago I read about a new restaurant opening up in the lower east side, Blue Elm, and decided this would be where I had my birthday dinner. Not only does it seem innovative, but I was attracted to its philosophy. Chef Malik's restaurant and cuisine is based on his experiences in the African village of Sangalkam with French influences from where he went to culinary school and Asian flare from where he has traveled extensively. His restaurant and cuisine tell a story of coastal life in Senegal where the food was always fresh as the women visited the local market daily, seafood was brought directly from the ocean, and produce was purchased from farms within walking distance from the village. While this is not all possible in New York City, the dishes aim to be fresh and simple. Furthermore, the goal of Blue Elm is to mimick the dining experience of Sanglakam where there were no courses and the family gathered to share plates while telling stories and singing local folksongs.

Food and family meals are of central importance in many cultures but that I find lacks in priority in the States. Being most familiar with the Spanish-speaking cultures, it's rare that you would be too busy to find time daily to sit with your family, even extended family, to share in a home-cooked meal. This being important to me, I am usually drawn towards restaurants where there are sharing plates or tapa-type restaurants. It used to be that you could only find this type of experience at Spanish tapas restaurants, which became popular only about 10 years ago. But, now, fortunately, many cuisines offer sharing plates from Italian to Sengalese. Last birthday, my first in New York, I celebrated with friends at Pipa, one of my favorites where the ceiling is covered in gorgeous chandeliers that are for sale from ABC carpet next door in addition to antique mirrors on the walls. It's the perfect tapas restaurant with wonderful sangria to give even non-dancers the courage to move to the live salsa band. Despite my eagerness to try the new Blue Elm restaurant this year for my birthday, two hours before the time the reservation was for, I changed my mind. Yes, I'm a libra! I decided to go with another one of my favorite restaurants in Soho, Antique Garage. It was exactly the place I wanted to share with my dad and sister on my birthday, warm, comforting and charming with live music that made me feel like I was in the 20's with Frank Sanatra and sorrounded by sweet antiques. Utkul Cinel combined his two passions of food and antiques to create a magical dining experience. Antique Garage allows for a mediterranean sharing experience, chosing from a variety of fresh meze options. While I still hope to try Blue Elm, Antique Garage was the perfect place for this year's birthday dinner with my family.

Growing up in a mostly Jewish and Arab neighborhood, mediterranean cuisine became a favorite and was always a staple in the fridge. We always had hummus and tabboule with pita to snack on. My best friend's mom who is Chaldean would always cook the most delicious and fresh middle eastern food from yogurt to rice and tomato sauce to baklavah. While out of the country, or even out of the state of Michigan, I always craved this food but am lucky to be in a city now that has great Mediterranean restaurants, specifically Turkish ones. Beyoglu on the upper east side used to be a frequently visited spot when living in the area but Antique Garage is an even more special experience. For dinner, the tree of us shared a mezze platter that had tastes of hummus, eggplant salad, tzatziki, borek (phyllo dough cigars stuffed with feta), circassian chicken (chicken salad with walnut garlic sauce) and shepard salad. We additionally ordered another shepard salad topped with crumbled feta, grilled octopus and a special of grilled shrimp skewers over a bed of mediterranean couscous and lentils. I'm not usually a dessert person but of course was forced to order one knowing that the inevitable of a song was going to accompany it. None of the desserts automatically striked my fancy, but I chose the fruti de basco described as a mixture of wild berries a top cream filled pastry shell and then decided to ask the waiter (who was the best I've had in as long as I can remember) for his recommendation. He said the apricots were his favorite, sweetened dry apricot stuffed with Turkish kaymak and almond, and that he would try and find a few for us to taste. The desserts surpassed my expectations by far! The fruti de basco was more like a light layered cream cake with tiny wild berries topped with a blanket of powered sugar, and the apricots were amazing! They were not at all how I could have imagined. It would be worth venturing to the restaurant just for a coffee and apricots with background Frank Sinatra as an end to a great night. I kept thinking how perfect the restaurant was for this night and could not have been happier sharing it all with my family.

"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Birthdays should be a joyous ocassion, a time to celebrate life and gratefulness for being another year older. Birthdays represent milestones in our life: At 16, we can drive; At 18, we become legal adults and vote; At 21, in the U.S., we are legally able to drink and buy alcohol. It's obvious these are important birthdays to celebrate, but in a society that values youthfulness, getting older can be difficult to deal with for many.
Personally, I almost dread the day and week before and after. While I am grateful that I lived another year, knowing many have not been fortunate enough to get to my age or passed away before their next birthday, there is still something surrounding this special day that leads to anxiety and sadness. Perhaps it's the actual number and feeling old as I watch my younger sisters growing up, or the intense self-reflection I carry out around this time of year disappointed I'm not in the career that I hoped I would be in by now, or expectations created around the important day, similar to New Years. Honestly, I believe it's a combination of all of this. As it's always easier to tell others how to deal with birthday blues and that the brain just needs to be snapped in to positive thoughts, it takes much effort to prevent depression from digging its way too deep and to convince yourself that "this is going to be the best birthday ever." While I don't expect it to be the best, I do have expectations that I've learned in life are okay and good to have. However, sometimes, based on past experiences, we become jaded and lower our expectations, sometimes giving up on them completely. But, it is empowering to acknowledge and accept the validity of our desires and expectations (as long as they are within reason and not hurting others) and live to fulfill them in order to feel "happiness." I expect to be treated well by my boyfriend, friends and family. I refuse to settle in an abusive relationship on any level in which I do not feel respected or cared about. So, yes, I have expectations, but the key is that the control over whether or not we reach these expectations is only within ourselves. My birthday becomes a challenge to practice this. I must make a vow to have this be a great birthday and make the preparations to accomplish this. Even though self-relection will be inevitable for me, the concentration will be on how far I have come, the obstacles jumped over through the years, in order to get here today. . . a place I never could have imagined just a few years ago. It's important to appreciate the wonderful people I am blessed to have in my life (forgetting about the rest), cherish this age because the number is only going to be growing, and fully feel the blessing that a birthday means you've been given another year of precious life.

While I admittingly struggle with my own birthday, I absolutely love celebrating for others! The flourless chocolate cake has become a tradition for me to make for birthdays ever since my sophomore year in college. I made an indulgently rich and fudgy flourless chocolate cake for a dear friend of mine, Michael. We bonded over our love for food and travel, and I truly admire his positive character and outlook on life. We don't see eachother often, but to this day, he continues to talk about this flourless cake and how incredibely memorable it was. At his wedding, when I was introduced to a family member, he knew me by the girl who made that chocolate cake for Mike's birthday. This cake is even more special, not only because I had a fun time making it (and must give credit to my childhood best friend Jaclyn for helping me frost it and cheering me on when I was afraid I had burned the ganache a bit too much) but because Michael met his now wife around the time of his birthday, and it was the cake that brought them together. Well, maybe it wasn't just the cake alone, but I'm honored my cake played a wingman role. Dawna, his wife, moved in next door to the apartment building where Mike was living, and he one day invited Dawna and her roommate for dinner, sharing the dense flourless chocolate cake with everyone for dessert. Soon after, they started dating, and, a few years later, are married.

Flourless chocolate cake is the top request I get from my friends when I ask what I can bake them for their birthday. It is my pleasure!

Flourless Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Mousse and Rasberry Sauce

(adapted from Godiva)

8 bars (1.5 ounces each) Dark Chocolate, chopped
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3 cups confectioners’ sugar
12 eggs, separatedPinch of salt

Chocolate Mousse:
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup granulated sugar
7 bars (1.5 ounces each) Dark Chocolate, chopped
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups heavy cream

Raspberry Sauce:
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen raspberries
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon finely grated orange peel

Make Flourless Chocolate Cake:
Preheat to 350°F.
Melt chocolate in double boiler or microwave until almost melted. Let stand 1 minute and stir until smooth.
Beat butter and 2 cups confectioners’ sugar with mixer at high speed for about 3 minutes or until light and fluffy.
Add egg yolks, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
Beat egg whites and salt with mixer at medium speed in a dry, clean bowl until frothy.
Gradually add remaining confectioners’ sugar. Increase speed to high and beat until stiff peaks form.
Fold melted chocolate into butter mixture.
Gently fold egg whites into chocolate-butter mixture. Do not overmix.
Pour batter into lightly greased 10 X 3-inch springform pan. Bake for 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center has a few moist crumbs clinging to it.
Cool completely in pan on a wire rack. Upon cooling, the center of the cake will sink.

Make Chocolate Mousse:
Heat the milk and granulated sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat to a boil. Remove from heat.
Add chocolate. Let stand for 5 minutes.
Stir until melted and smooth. Stir in oil and vanilla.
Let cool for about 10 minutes or until tepid.
Beat cream in a chilled bowl with mixer at high speed until stiff peaks form.
Gently fold one-half of the whipped cream into the tepid chocolate mixture.
Gently fold in the remaining cream, being careful not to overmix.
Carefully spoon mousse on top of cake, spreading evenly with a spatula.
Refrigerate for at least 2 hours or until cold.

Make Raspberry Sauce:
Heat the water and granulated sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat to a boil.
Add 1 cup raspberries, vanilla and orange peel.
Let stand for 10 minutes.
Strain raspberry mixture through a fine-meshed sieve into a bowl.
Refrigerate until cold.
Stir in remaining raspberries.

To serve, run a thin-bladed knife around edge of cake to loosen it from sides of springform pan. Remove side from springform pan. With a sharp thin-bladed knife, slice cake, wiping blade clean between each cut. Place the slices on serving plates and top with some of the raspberry sauce.

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." - Dalai Lama

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

~Unknown source

The effects of karma are inevitable. Although many may fear these effects, it is more simply about the consequences of our actions that eventually leads to our destiny. Even if karma does not exist, if each person concentrated on and executed positive, rather than negative actions, acknowledging that everyone and everything coexists and is connected to the greater concept of life and existence, the world would be a much better place.

In his book, Path to Bliss, the Dalai Lama eloquently explains the greatly misundertood concept of karma: "Some people. . . take the Buddha's doctrine of the law of causality to mean that all is predetermined, that there is nothing that the individual can do. This is a total misunderstanding. The very term karma or action is a term of active force, which indicates that future events are within your own hands. Since action is a phenomenon that is committed by a person, a living being, it is within your own hands whether or not you engage in action."

The first step is to focus on ourselves, positive thoughts, and then live each day as an attempt to be the best person we can be with the awareness that we are not in this world alone. I try and volunteer often, not because I'm consciously thinking about karma, and selfishly hoping good will come back to me as a direct cause of volunteering, but I've come to believe there is a greater purpose for life through the questioning of the meaning of life. What would be the point if we just lived each day robotically only to fulfill our personal indulgences and desires and accumulate superficial wealth? It just doesn't make sense to me. All that only to die and then what? I need to believe there is more purpose and that all the challenges and obstacles we face are for a reason. I hope to impact lives in a positive way and participate in creating positive change so that I leave the world a better place for those following. After all, I may just be back to do it all again, or as they preach in Judaism, the after-life will be that much better. . .

After all that "preaching," I really aimed to devote this blog to my experience at the Food Network New York Food and Wine Event that I attended this past weekend. I signed up to volunteer through work in collaboration with the NY Food Bank and Share Our Strength in hopes of being able to at least see the Grand Tasting event showcasing New York's best restaurants and world-renowned wine and spirit makers. I figured, if work can't give tickets to this, I would at least take advantage of the opportunity to help out and work at it. I was posted to help hand out wine glasses to those arriving. One couple entered and asked for an extra wine glass since his brother couldn't make it. "Most certainly!" I replied, happily giving out another glass with my white-gloved hand. He was so thankful and added that he had an extra ticket. When I asked what he's going to do with the $250 valued ticket, he offered it up. Feeling some guilt, I accepted and thought about who I could call up that would appreciate such an opportunity and run over. I continued to hand out glasses to incoming guests until I was pressured from coworkers who wondered why in the world I was still working. Shortly thereafter, I took of my volunteer shirt and entered the tents that spanned across the entire length of Pier 54. It was more massive than I could have imagined and had a wonderfully fun and indulgent time. . .

After 10 minutes of taking a quick lap to scope out all the options and come down from the shock of all the action and masses, I found 3 other co-worker volunteers already with food in hand and wine stained lips. We spent the next 3 hours (until we were literally forced out) sampling food from some of my favorite city restaurants, some that were on my list of places to try, and others that were new to me but are newly added to my list. In addition to food, my wine glass was always full from various makers and types. I mostly stayed with red wines since it was kind of chilly out and was just in that mood with the exception of one memorable Wispering Angel rose from Chateau d'Esclans. The name fits perfectly with its subtle, sweet, light, fruity and crisp notes. The frenchman himself was very charming and paired with a Spaniard from the north of Spain that had an excellent Rioja. We returned to this duo as our last and final stop to fill up the glass and relax as we took in the whole experience and now needed to digest everything.

While the wines and spirits were intoxicating, the food took me on a delicious culinary journey. First off, not only did I get to meet Patrick Neely, Ellie Krieger, Top Chef's Fabio, Iron Chef Chairman Kaga and contestants Dominique Crenn and Brad Farmerie, I got to try some of their creations. The Iron Chef mini cook-off at the event used cheddar cheese as the main ingredient. Chef Brad created an apple, cinnamon and cheddar crumble with a miso cheddar ice cream that was intriguing to the pallet and tasted like a slightly under-cooked apple pie with creamy ice cream in which you could just barely make out the white cheddar laced throughout it. Chef Dominique made a celery root "cappuccino, " cheddar cheese bacon espuma and cheddar cheese biscuit. She made a special one for me with out the espuma that I admit greatly altered the dish and makes it unfair to judge since I missed a huge part of incorporation of the main ingredient. But, the celery root "cappuccino" was very tasty and like a warm, comforting soup, and with the cheddar cheese biscuit was a perfect pair. However, I am still amazed by the cheddar cheese dessert by Brad.

I can confidently pick out a few favorites, but the best sampling experience would have to be the chocolate pumpkin and almond tortellini with mostarda butter by Chef Albert DiMeglio, representing the French restaurant in Gramercy, Olana. He had to clearly write that this was "not dessert!" .. . "it's pasta" . . ."savory." It was like nothing I have ever tasted, so smooth and creamy, the pumpkin filling that oozed out of the tortellini pasta that had a hint of cocoa. The mostarda butter is something new to me, but added a little oily texture and topped with shaved parmasean cheese rounded out the dish of deliciousness. I was so impressed and can't wait to try out this restaurant.
Other notable impressions were (Pescatarian Bias):
Haru: Alex Aratake - tuna tartare with a dallop of guacamole on a home-made tortilla chip
One if by land, Two if by sea: Sam Freund - pampano with crab, orange and smoked corn puree
Allegretti: (beautiful Italian Chef) Alain Allegretti - stuffed calamari
Suenos: Sue Torres - tequila salmon tartare on plantain chip

Tequila-Flamed Shrimp Tostadas
Recipe by Sue Torres

1 Hass avocado, mashed
1/4 cup finely diced fresh pineapple
1/2 cup drained canned black beans
2 scallions, finely chopped
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
Salt and freshly ground pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3/4 pound medium shrimp— shelled, deveined and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
2 large garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons silver tequila
1/2 canned chipotle in adobo sauce, seeded and minced
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, cubed
24 large round tortilla chips (or make your own)

Directions
In a bowl, mash the avocado, pineapple, beans, scallions and 1 tablespoon of the lime juice. Season with salt and pepper.
Heat a large skillet until very hot. Add the oil and heat until shimmering. Season the shrimp with salt and pepper; add to the skillet along with the garlic and cook, shaking the pan frequently, until the shrimp are almost cooked through, about 2 minutes.
Remove the skillet from the heat and add the tequila. Tilt the pan slightly over the burner to ignite the tequila and cook until the flames subside. (Alternatively, remove the pan from the heat and ignite with a match, then return to the heat.) Stir in the chipotle, butter and the remaining 2 tablespoons of lime juice, swirling until the butter is melted and the liquid is slightly reduced, about 2 minutes longer. Season with salt and pepper.
Spoon the avocado mixture onto the tortilla chips and top with the shrimp.
Drizzle some of the tequila sauce on top and serve right away.

"The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives." - Albert Einstein

The first bite into a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie with the oozing gooeyness of the melted chocolate blurs all surrounding, endulging in the present moment of such ecstasy. Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic, but there is something very special and eveloping about fresh-from-the-oven-in-melt-in-your-mouth chocolate chip cookies. The air of deliciously scented warmth leads to reminiscing about childood and is as comforting as the warm blanket your mother wrapped you up in.

I've learned not to take this simply classic creation for granted. While in Costa Rica, I had my mother send a package full of cooking ingredients that were not easily found and took requests from mami. Always on the top of her list were dried cherries and. . .Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips. It was such a treat to be able to make Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies and sometimes added dried cherries for an extra indulgence. I wanted to bring the happiness felt by mami as she prepared and tasted the cookies to the children with whom I worked at the orphanage. I volunteered weekly at a local Costa Rican orphanage, not far from the University campus, where I played with the children and would often put together small projects that got the children involved, working together and allowed me to give individual attention that was so lacking in their lives. My most memorable experience was baking with these beautiful children. It was a challenging endeavor, but extremely rewarding to see the children so engaged and feeling like it was a special treat. One day I brought in supplies for decorating sugar cookies and also for baking chocolate chip cookies. Amidst the messiness, there was so much joy in their eyes and smiles. It was such a treat for them and for me to give them the opporunity to personally create something, allowing them to have control over their outcome. They were also forced to learn to share and have patience while working together to prepare the cookies. The fun we all had, forgetting about any sadness or worries for those moments, was worth the heavy clean up I so graciously volunteered to do this time.

Since the classic chocolate chip cookie is evidently so special to me, it was important to find THE best recipe that I could forever have as a staple in the collection. I finally found a keeper!

"The" Recipe

2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter
1 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

1 egg

1 egg yolk

2 c. semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.

Sift dry ingredients

Cream butter and sugars
Beat in vanilla and eggs until light and creamy

Mix in dry ingredients
Stir in chocolate chips
Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time 3 inches apart
Bake 15-17 minutes until edges are lightly toasted

Serving suggestions: Fresh from the oven with a glass of (soy)milk

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." - Eleanor Roosevelt

What a wonderful idea for a restuarant! Enoteca Maria in Staten Island, NY brings the true comfort of Italian cooking to your dining experience. It's not only "just like grandma used to make it". .. Nonna is making it! The cooks are Italian grandmothers and mothers representing different regions in Italy but sharing a passion of cooking traditional dishes that have been handed down through the generations. The cooking experience is described by one grandmother as "emotionally rewarding" and "heart-warming." I'm sure the customers can taste this love streaming through the dishes.

When asked why I am so enamored with the Spanish and Latino cultures, I emphasize the importance placed upon the family structure. Italian families are similar in maintaining a bond between generations. I've learned that, although no family is perfect, in the end, they are the only people I have been able to count on and am extremely grateful for the unconditional love and support. It is the mother that nurtures the baby with food and nutrients while still in the womb, and it is this special bond formed from the very beginning that is carried through out life and thus why I believe there is such a desire by women to feed others and especially the family. Through meals, families are brought together and souls are nurtured by the food prepared with love.

Below is one of Giada's delicious Italian recipes introduced to me by my favorite cook in the office. Amy whipped this up for an engagement dinner in the amount of time that it took four people to drink two bottles of champagne. The dish tasted as comforting as the warmth in the air filled with the delicious scent of sizziling garlic.

Sicilian Penne with Swordfish and Eggplant
1 pound penne pasta
1/3 cup olive oil, plus 2 tablespoons
3 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon red chili flakes (plus more to taste)
1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, plus 1/3 cup
4 Japanese eggplants, ends trimmed, thinly sliced lengthwise, then cut into squares
1 pound swordfish steaks, skin removed, cut into 1-inch cubes
1/3 cup white wine
2 cups halved teardrop or cherry tomatoes
Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook until tender but still firm to the bite, stirring occasionally, about 8 to 10 minutes. Drain pasta.
Meanwhile, place a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add the 1/3 cup olive oil, garlic, red chili flakes, and 1/4 cup parsley. Stir and cook until fragrant, about 1 to 2 minutes.

Add the eggplant and cook until tender, about 5 minutes.
Remove the eggplant from the pan and set aside.
Season the swordfish cubes with salt and pepper.
Using the same pan, over medium-high heat, add the 2 remaining tablespoons of olive oil and cook the swordfish until opaque, about 5 minutes.
Add the white wine and cook until almost evaporated, about 2 minutes. Turn off the heat.
Add the tomatoes, eggplant, cooked pasta, the remaining 1/3 cup parsley and stir.
Drizzle with extra-virgin olive oil and sprinkle with the salt and pepper. Stir to combine.

Serving Suggestions: Serve with a fresh, crusty italian bread and a side of extra virgin olive oil swirled with balsamic

"You must learn one thing. The world was made to be free in. Give up all the other worlds except the one to which you belong." David White

Three months after moving to Costa Rica following graduation from University, I had to decide where I would travel for at least 72 hours in order to follow the visa regulations and refresh the visa for another 90 days. My work as a private English teacher, masseuse at a spa, and bartender allowed me the flexibility to take time off. With all the foreigners living in paradise, it was easy to find someone willing to leave the country with me. The Peruvian surfista and student of mine, Dante, agreed to venture to Panama for a little over a week. We decided to take the bus from San Jose to Panama City in which we would spend a couple nights, rent a car and drive to an all-inclusive resort for another couple nights and then finally make our way to the infamous island of Bocas del Toro before flying back to Costa Rica. It was a whirlwind of a trip in so many ways but a spectacular journey in to a new culture. Although Panama is just south of Costa Rica, it is unique in its places, people, energy and food most predominately Caribbean and Spanish. Lining the waterfront is a city that has a Miami vibe with tall buildings and massively modern shopping malls. While impressed by the money evident in the beautiful buildings and homes of the city, the drastic juxtaposition of the poor and run-down slums along the outskirts of the city was impressionable.
Due to its location the country is home to a vast array of fresh and tasty fruits, herbs, vegetables, and seafood and combined with influences from the Native Indians, Europeans and other Latin American, Panama is rich in the culinary arts. One of my favorite dishes across Central America is ceviche, a tangy dish of chopped up fish “cooked” in lemon juice and flavored with other herbs, cilantro and added vegetables. In Costa Rica and Panama, it’s usually accompanied by a package of Soda crackers (saltines) that soaks up the acidity and provides the perfect crunch. Throughout Central America, ceviche became one of my go-to comfort foods whether I was at a hole-in-the-wall bar or a more upscale restaurant. Each place creates its own unique version of ceviche based on the season and influences of the region, culture or chef. One of the most memorable ceviche experiences was in Panama City the afternoon we arrived and drove the rental car to Balboa Ave that stretches all the way from the main Casco Viejo past the marina where we landed at a laid back open-air restaurant and ordered a Balboa beer and ceviche as we were absorbed by the picturesque views of the city skyscrapers and bay. Every bite of the tortilla chip topped with ceviche was as refreshing as the breeze. The acidity from the lemons was perfectly balanced by the smoothness of the garnish of aguacate.

In New York, there are cevicherias popping up all around. I visited Mercadito a while back in the Lower East side eager to get a taste of Central America in the big apple. Unfortunately, I was disappointed by the ceviche tasting, but perhaps I was spoiled living on the water where we had access to the freshest seafood and restaurants where the food was prepared by the Latina grandmother that has been making home-made ceviche all her years. We tried the following ceviches:

dorado – mahi mahi, avocado, tomato, orange-chile de arbol broth

robalo – wild striped bass, mango, chile piquin, tamarind-apple soda broth

mixto – shrimp, octopus, scallops, tomato, roasted garlic-jalepeno broth
While I still enjoyed the tasting (as I usually always do experiencing something new), I believe that ceviche isn’t meant to be so complicated.

Ceviche de corvina

1 lb. boneless fish, preferably White Sea Bass (Corvina)

1 1/3 cups fresh lemon juice

1/2 cup finely chopped celery

1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion

1/2 cup finely chopped red bell pepper

1/2 cup finely chopped yellow bell pepper

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh cilantro

salt to taste

Cut the corvina (sea bass) into bite-size pieces and place in a glass bowl or container of at least 2 inches high. Add all the other ingredients, mixing well.

The lemon juice should cover the fish. Cover with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator.

Allow one day for fish to cook in the lemon juice and onions.

Serving Suggestions: Serve with tortilla chips, saltines or patacones (fried plantains)

"Words that do not match deeds are unimportant" Ernesto Che Guevara

The sound of salsa music and energy of cheering and an MC leads me to my first experience wandering the streets of a forbidden land. As I make my way through the crowd in a small plaza, the sun is shining as a spotlight on a group of Cuban children, boys and girls partnered up, infected by the pulsating musica de salsa. These children must come out of the womb dancing because the moves were so intuitive, provocative and contagious. For a country that we were always taught through school and the media is a depressed, restrictive, poor, communist place, I never felt so much joy, creativity and richness in a culture as I did in Cuba. Furthermore, as a salsa addict, I could not be more in heaven with the music heard through out all the streets and salsa clubs all around, in door and out door.
There is no way to deny Cuba’s turbulent history, most notably since the Cuban Revolution when Fidel Castro took power and the traumatic transformations that were forced upon the people. Groups were marginalized, imprisoned and even executing for having and expressing differing beliefs and opinions that led/forced hundreds of thousands to flee. Soon after Castro’s takeover, by the end of 1960, newspapers were shut down and all radio and television programming became controlled by the state.
Before embarking on the journey to Cuba, I disappointed many Cuban-Americans who had fled or who are part of families that had experienced the Castro regime and fled and were angry that I would be visiting and contributing any money to him. I apologize for offending anyone but could not be happier for the opportunity to visit a country that has so much potential and inner beauty waiting for the opportunity to explode.
As a Spanish and anthropology major, my passion is analyzing and digging deep in to culture, most specifically the Spanish-speaking populations. Traveling through out Cuba, my friend and I stayed in local houses that are certified by the government to house tourists. It’s a wonderful way to really experience the culture and hopefully get a chance to bond and speak with the family. At a popular salsa spot in Havana we met two dancers that offered to take us to the beach the next day. We took a road trip to the most beautiful, white sand beach and had great conversation where they whispered their anger towards Castro and the fact that they have such restricted access, internet, phone, television, etc., that limits the information they can get and the communication with others they can have. While there is this awareness and consciousness, there is a feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness that there really is no alternative.
One of our favorite experiences was in Bayamo where we met a group of young musicians and artists that invited us to spend the day with them. We went to a lunch where they were celebrating someone’s birthday and then to their art studio where we were introduced to more friends and later to the river where we played like children in the river while the sun set. It is no wonder why this area is often referred to as the birthplace of Cuban Nationality. We all formed such a special bond that day and cried together upon parting. Each person we were with that day had a unique and impressive creative talent whether it was music or painting. It hit me that Cuba is probably the richest country in terms of the arts for that is the only freedom of expression for the people. They cannot speak out, but they have other outlets for expressing their visions, beliefs and inner beings. From Cuba and it’s people we are reminded not only to appreciate our freedoms that we often take for granted but also that there is so much beauty and specialness inside each and everyone of us that not only leads us to develop our own individuality but also to have compassion for others and acknowledge the rights we all deserve as humans sharing this one world.

Our first house we stayed at, the only one planned from Lonely Planet before leaving Costa Rica, led us to our last place who was her sister and a famous jazz musician. Since our ATM card stopped working half way through the almost 3 week trip, and we couldn’t use a credit card for obvious reasons, we explained that we could not afford to pay both nights because we literally had no money left. We even had to pay the cab driver that took us to the airport the last night in jewelry. We scheduled our travels through out the island for overnight so that we didn’t have to pay for housing but could instead sleep during the bus ride and lived off of mostly bananas and avocados for days. While there are places the locals go to eat and pay with pesos, it is extremely difficult for a tourist to get away with that. But, we had no option because we were running low on the lump sum of cash we had luckily taken out before the ATM card crashed. One of my most memorable meals (perhaps sadly) is when Tara and I both scarffed down several Cuban Sandwiches from a place we knew accepted pesos. I never would have imagined a simple sandwich of slightly sweet yellow bread buns sandwiching a light firm cheese with pickles could taste so delicious. I don’t eat meat and couldn’t afford the one with ham anyways, but could imagine the satisfaction of those that do enjoy ham because that looked like a whole different experience there. As you walk through the streets, a cart piled with dead pigs, some being dragged along the pavement may pass you. . .and then you come to the guy with a whole roasted pig on a table slicing and stuffing in to the sweet round buns.

While I hope to one day return to the state and experience the food on a larger budget, my soul was more than enough fed by the people and experiences, where the landscape is indescribable and the individuals make up such an inspirational culture.

Pan Cubano

STARTER
3/4 tsp active dry yeast(1/3 envelope)
1/3 cup warm water
1/3 cup bread or all-purpose flour

The day before baking; mix the starter ingredients, dissolving the yeast in the water first. You want a thick paste when you add the flour.
Cover bowl with plastic wrap and place in refrigerator for 24 hours.
Leftover starter will keep for several days in the refrigerator and can be frozen.

DOUGH
4-1/2 tsp active dry yeast -(2 envelopes or 2 cakes of compressed yeast)
1 Tbsp sugar1-1/2 cups warm water
3 to 4 Tbsp lard or solid vegetable shortening, at room temperature
1/2 batch starter (see above recipe)
1 Tbsp salt
4 to 5 cups bread or all-purpose flour

Dissolve yeast and sugar in 3 tablespoons of water in a large mixing bowl. When the mixture is foamy (5 to 10 minutes), stir in the lard, the remaining water, and the 1/2 batch of starter.Mix well with your fingers or a wooden spoon.
Stir in salt and flour, 1 cup at a time until dough is stiff enough to knead.
Turn dough onto a lightly floured work surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 6 to 8 minutes, adding flour as necessary. The dough should be pliable and not sticky.
Transfer to a lightly oiled bowl, cover and let rise in a warm, draft-free spot until it doubles its' bulk, about 45 minutes. Punch down.
To form the loaves, divide the dough in 4 pieces. Roll out each to form a 14-inch long tube, with rounded ends (sort of like a long meat loaf) Put 2 of the loaves on a baking sheet, about 6 inches apart. Cover with dampened cotton dish towels and let rise in warm, draft-free spot until double their bulk, about 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Lay a dampened piece of thick kitchen string or twine (about 1/8 " thick) all along the top length of the loaf. Bake until the breads are lightly browned on top and sound hollow when lightly tapped, about 30 minutes.
Let them cool slightly and remove the strings. They will leave a distinct little ridge on top. Transfer loaves onto a wire rack for cooling.

Serving Suggestions: Sandwich with swiss cheese and avocado

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"

While many can pinpoint where they picked up their love for cooking and food or share stories of how central food was in their life while growing up, my story is more unclear. While my mother is one of the most important people in my life who I love to death, and I am so appreciative for her, she did not fulfill my romanticized image of the mother figure in which I imagine this woman to be preparing beautifully balanced and presented meals for the family, entertaining guests with lavish or simple refreshments and baking to fill the cookie jars and dessert platters fresh daily.
As a family, we rarely sat down for family meals during the week, blamed on all of our busy schedules and that my father often commuted long distance for work only to return too late for dinner. As I've grown, I realize the impact this may have had on me in terms of my relationship with food. When I visit home, I make sure to prepare as many meals as I can for my family. Although the family is not quite as in tact these days, my youngest sister, who will always be my baby, gives me the opportunity to be the mother I envision and hope to one day be. I make her banana or chocolate chip pancakes in the morning sprinkled with confectioner sugar and served with a side of fruit and maple syrup, pack a well-balanced lunch with all the food groups and a special treat since she is a sugar addict and then prepare her dinner according to her mood. She loves grilled cheese, again, a simple dish that can be so comforting and made with love, and add a side of greek salad and fruit or frozen yogurt drizzled with chocolate. Her contribution to the meals is getting herself water. . .

I believe my nurturing qualities come from what I may have missed in my childhood since I've gotten over my denial and come to terms with the fact that I am emotionally needy and perhaps more so than my own mother ever was. With this, I find happiness in loving, giving and feeding others to nurture their soul.

With all this being said, I may owe my love of baking and feeding others to my nana who is the typical Jewish grandmother, always pushing food and always having candy on hand to give to the grandchildren when they visit. I have such wonderful memories of food associated with my nana. My birthday was always the most special occasion in which her and Lou (whom I've considered my papa for as long as I can remember) would take me out to the nicest restaurants, and we would sit for hours to have a few course dinner. I had trouble saying "no, I'm not hungry" because they wouldn't listen anyways. I was forced to keep eating until one time when I got home so physically sick. From then on, they backed off a little, but continue to radiate their love of food to everyone around.
One of my favorite recipes that my nana so generously has shared with me is for lemon bars. In the culinary sphere, there are infinite recipes for variations of lemon bars, but these ones are particularly special and always receive rave reviews from friends and coworkers. Due to their simplicity, perfect balance of the buttery shortbread crust and not-too-tangy, not-too-sweet lemon filling, this is a staple in my recipe box that is always a good entertaining option for dessert.

Nana's Lemon Squares

2 cups flour
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 cup butter
4 eggs
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder

Sift flour and powdered sugar together.
Add the butter and spread in a 9"X13" pyrex. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.
Beat eggs, and add the lemon juice and sugar.
Mix in flour and baking poder.
Spread over baked crust and put back in the oven until firm for about 20 minutes.
When cool, dust with confectioner sugar and cut in squares.

"It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them."

In 2005, I embarked on a new journey that opened the doors to the beginning of changing my life. . . Costa Rica will forever hold one of the most special places in my heart. It is where I learned to appreciate and live in the present moment, the key to living in a peaceful state that some label as happiness. During a semester abroad, I gained an understanding of the Costaricense motto: Pura Vida. In a place where there is no army, a landscape of mountains, beaches and rainforests as your backyard and family/friends are the epicenter of values, Costa Rica is a gem in a world that can often appear gloomy and will teach you to slow down and see the beauty that not only surrounds us, but that lies within us.
I was blessed to live with such a wonderful familia and form such a special relationship with my mami. Yadira and I bonded over cafecitos and our love for cooking. I spent much time shadowing her in the kitchen as we prepared comida tipica together. Each morning I would awake to a fresh pot of coffee and a fragrant array of tropical fruits, banana, papaya, pineapple, etc. This was the perfect way to start the day, sometimes adding a slice of healthy bread fresh from the bread maker or pan de banano that we baked the night before.

Central to Costa Rican culture and cuisine is gallo pinto, a plato tipico, that can be consumed for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. While Costa Rica prides itself in this dish, Nicaragua would beg to differ that it is originally their's. However, through my years in Central America, the best gallo pinto was most definitely in my own casita. It can be insufficiently simplified to a description of rice and beans but the cilantro, onion, garlic and red pepper, topped with Salsa Lizano brings the dish to a new level of satisfying comfort food. The dish is paired with great memories, wonderful associations, and the reminder of living as the ticos: pura vida!

It seems only appropriate to begin this blog with a recipe that appears simple but yet has so much depth. This dish is an integral part to a culture that slows down to have a meal with the family, meet friends to gossip over coffee and take a mid-day break for surfing. It is a place that enables self-reflection, teaches you to live in the moment and proves happiness can lie in the appreciation of simple things in life.

Gallo Pinto
1 cup cooked rice

1 cup cooked beans

1 chopped onion

1 small chopped red pepper

2 cloves chopped garlic

1 tbs. oil

¼ cup chopped cilantro

salt and pepper to taste

Salsa Lizano

Sautee onion, red pepper, garlic and cilantro in vegetable oil for about 3 minutes.
Pour in the beans and add seasoning to taste. Let it cook for a couple minutes, without drying them out.
Add cooked rice and mix with beans.

Top with salsa lizano.

Serving suggestions: with huevos and/or platanos maduros